Just for me....

 As I get older I hear myself saying "I don't remember that" more and more. I know that blogs aren't the thing to do anymore and because it has been so long since I have updated this that no one will read it but I am determined to do this for me and my kids. I want to be able to look back at good times, my struggles and old pictures at the click of a button. Sometimes it helps to remember what we have gone through to appreciate where we are at now! The picture up top is of our little beast!! If I thought for one second that there was nothing that Brooke could teach me that Natalie and Katelyn haven't already I was so wrong.....so wrong! All of my kids have taught me so much with their individual personalities....all I can say is apparently I had a lot to learn.
  I am learning what it is like to be a full time stay at home mom. I had to work with Natalie and Katelyn so I can tell you one way or the other isn't easier but they are very different. Brooke has been screaming I swear since day one. Her biggest thing lately is to scream whenever her sisters try and do anything with her which at the beginning it was easier for me to tell Natalie and Katelyn to stop whatever they are doing and leave her alone. Then Brooke figured this out and has been trying to use this as a way to get her sisters in trouble. Don't worry I am finally on to her and despite how much easier it is to get after Nat and Kate, Brooke is having some quality time in time out. I do have to say that it is our third and you just want the noise to stop so, yes my parenting styles have changed with the more kids that come in the picture.
  I took Brooke in to be evaluated and she was behind in her speech and social skills. As a mom I took this hard and cried off and on for two days. I just couldn't help but feel like it was my fault. Brooke was home with me and in my mind I determined that I didn't socialize her enough, make her speak, and we all were doing to much for her. After I met with her therapists and set up a schedule for a structured play group every Monday and speech therapy every other week and I started to feel better. I felt I was doing what I needed to do to help her along. Then came our first play group....we lasted 20 mins and we both left crying!! I made it out to my car before I wasn't just crying I was sobbing. I had expectations that Brooke would go in, have a great time and the teachers will tell me there is no need for you to come back (ridiculous I know) but what I wasn't expecting was Brooke screaming the whole time, slapping her teachers in the face and her being so out of control that I had no idea what to do but go sit in my car and call my husband. When I had my babies I wanted them to be perfect....I just don't want life to be hard for them if I can help it. Plus how dare you say there is anything wrong with my kid......I know WAY over the top! So here in lies the lessons Brooke is teaching me. I think expectations are good for kids but I am learning to generalise them a little more. I am learning to be open minded more when it comes to "trained" professionals telling me I need to see my children's weaknesses. I tend to focus on their strengths and ignore their weaknesses which isn't helpful to them or me. I have talked about this with a few people sometimes I just can't believe the feedback I get. My goal for Brooke is that she learns not to be so frustrated with her speech and finds a way to communicate with me until she does start talking. Truthfully I don't know how to do this and if she is a little behind then I should seek help rather then sit around and hope it fixes it self before I hand her off to the school system and she runs the risk of falling further behind. I know she is only 2 and her therapists have told me that they don't see anything developmentally or mentally wrong with her; they just think she is around older kids and adults all the time and that it is hard for her to pick up on the speech part of her development. All other areas are just fine. People stills think that it is OK to tell me that I am pushing her and she doesn't need this or other variations of that. That is another lessons that I am still working on.....how to respond to them without hitting them. HAHA
  Natalie and Kate are in swimming lessons and are loving it. Right now they are doing privates so they can get catch up. They love being able to swim together. The club that we have joined has a water park that will be finished at the beginning of summer and the girls will probably be living there if I let them. It has a bunch of other things for kids to do and camps during the summer, that is the main reason we joined. Brooke also loves the water and I can't wait for her to be old enough to do swimming lessons where I don't have to get in with her. Katelyn will turn on the hose in the back yard and it is like a moth to a flame for Brooke. She will stand in the stream off water until I go and get her out.
I hope to keep at this....I want my kids to be able to read this when they are older and see some of the things that we went through that maybe I have forgotten down the road.