I realized that I am harder on Natalie sometimes then I should be because she is the oldest, and sometimes by the time she comes to me with a problem I am so drained from everything else that I don't think I give her my full attention. Not that I don't want to help her but I think she is older and she can handle it. I do put a lot of responsibility on her to help me around the house and with her siblings. While I do think kids should help and have responsibilities because that is part of being a family I don't think I was giving Natalie enough credit. So I have tried to change my behavior over the last few days and I can't believe the change. Natalie is asking to do things with me more often and she wants to spend more time with me which I am loving. I always thought Natalie to be a daddy's girl because Paul and her have so much in common but I just needed to be more willing to make the effort with her. I read this post and I hate how it makes me sound awful sometimes but I don't believe that is it. I am a good mom and I do try my best but I do think we fall into behaviors and it is hard for us to see what we are doing. I am grateful for all the lessons that my kids and others teach me or at least show me so I know I have to change.
Natalie is so special to me and I love her so much. She is so smart and I love watching her grow into the person she is becoming. While she hates to show emotions I know she has a sweet heart and I see it everyday in the way she interacts with her sisters. Just last night she told me that she wanted one more sibling and I had to explain to her why that wasn't going to happen. She said "I see other families with 4 kids so I know it is possible"....haha. I just told her I was too old and my body more then likely couldn't handle another one. I will leave the tid bit of how I mentally would crack if I had to care for one more kid and 3 is my max to when she has kids and can really understand that! haha
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